


Flying in the eye of a bullshit hurricane

by OscarthegrouchILOVETRASH



Series: Nightstalker [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, American Politics, Blowjob jokes everywhere, F/F, Gossip, Hey kids dont have sex with your boss in a location thats easily bugged, Intrigue, Jesus These Tags, Journalism, M/M, Scandal, The Author Regrets Everything, qpq universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-23 10:04:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6113113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OscarthegrouchILOVETRASH/pseuds/OscarthegrouchILOVETRASH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deborah gets an email from Thomas Jefferson, chaos ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flying in the eye of a bullshit hurricane

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rillrill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rillrill/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Quid Pro Quo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5880157) by [rillrill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rillrill/pseuds/rillrill). 



> This is a pretty immediate followup to chapter 26 of QPQ. So maybe read that first because of spoilers, and it'll make more sense.
> 
> Also I'm aware that I'm probably bullshitting how tracking IP addresses works but this is an AU where the Founding Fathers are embroiled in some House of Cards level bullshit, so suspend your disbelief.

Of course her phone blows up. Any time she specifically states “Please don't blow up my phone” is when the damned thing lights up on a nonstop chorus of buzzes and beeps.

The lucky reporter sent to dig through Theodosia’s trash found an empty prenatal vitamin box, and an empty prescription bottle of Zofran. Deborah orders a photographer to tail Theodosia, and sends an APB to their network of tipsters inside RSOB for any additional information.

Then came the news that Aaron Burr _just happened_ to resign his position in Washington’s staff...to work for Jefferson. Who was butt buddies with Madison. Who was Theodosia Prevost’s boss.

Well, well, well.

Deborah had a hunch that Aaron Burr was the father, but “the timing of this political maneuver is very suspicious” and “Aaron Burr has a weak pullout game” were entirely different things. The newsroom couldn’t come up with a link between Aaron and Theodosia, at least not one that'd pass muster with Legal.

But.

The photographer came through with photos of Theodosia leaving the office of Samuel Nunez, a well-known obstetrician.

If _Nightstalker_ published the stories separately, but _just happened_ to run them back-to-back, readers would make the leap.

***

EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS: THEODOSIA PREVOST UP THE STICK?

 _Nightstalker_ spotted Theodosia Prevost leaving the offices of prominent obstetrician Dr. Samuel Nunez this afternoon. Additional sources confirm that Prevost has a subscription to Zofran, a prescription medication used to treat morning sickness.

According to records filed in the District of Columbia, James Prevost filed for divorce three months ago, citing “irreconcilable differences”.

A secret lovechild would be a _very_ irreconcilable difference.

The million-dollar question is, if Theodosia is pregnant, **then who's the daddy?**

 

DRAMA ALERT: AARON BURR LEAVES WASHINGTON FOR JEFFERSON.

Aaron Burr has resigned his position as Policy Director for Sen. George Washington  (D-VA) to work in a similar capacity for Sen. Thomas Jefferson (R-VA). Neither office was available for comment.

Thomas Jefferson worked closely with Speaker James Madison to orchestrate the recent government shutdown.

_Click to view sideshow of Thomas Jefferson and James Madison smiling for the cameras at the ALEA  benefit last month._

_***_

FWD: Deborah Sampson

FROM: IT Desk

RE: <no subject>

You might want to look at this. We tracked the IP and it looks like it's from Aaron Burr’s work phone.

 

FROM:[ 009988764222355677@hotmail.com ](mailto:009988764222355677@hotmail.com)

TO: [ tips@nightstalker.com ](mailto:tips@nightstalker.com)

RE: <no subject>

Precisely what are you insinuating between Ms. Prevost and Mr. Burr.

I would tread very carefully if I was you.

 

FROM: Deborah Sampson

TO: aaron “basic bitchbaby” Burr

RE: I'm gonna start invoicing for my free advice

[ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/how-to-use-a-condom ](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/how-to-use-a-condom)

-D

 

FROM: 69thezodiackiller420@hotmail.com

TO: Deborah Sampson

RE: wear headphones, sweetheart

_daddyslittleprincess.mp3_

_da_ d _dyandthetramp.jpg_

I'm being very generous and sending you this before I talk to Mariah Reynolds.

Mr. Hamilton certainly has quite the way with words, doesn't he?

Let's talk.

-Macaroni

***

Shit. Fuck. Motherfucking fuckshit shitfuck jesus fucking christ godfuckingdammit. FUCK.

***

 _“Daddy."_  
  
_"Don't stop saying it, or I will stop."_  
  
_"Yes, Daddy . . . Daddy, please, Daddy, oh my God — don't stop, please — please, don't stop, Daddy — I need you to suck my cock, I love your mouth, please, Daddy, let me come, I don't care if it's with your hands or your mouth or if I have to do it myself, please, Daddy, just let me come for you —"_

Deborah replayed the recording while she sends out rapid-fire texts to Legal, her broker, her deputy editor, Molly. She was listening for any background noise that might give away the location of Hamilton’s performance.

Nothing.

As for the photo,  it wasn't a giant stretch of the imagination to assume that Jefferson had bribed or bullied her source, or had found a copy of the photo prior to their meeting with Molly.

She hammered down a green juice and headed to Molly’s office.

***

According to the average brain-damaged journalist, Senator Washington and his aide meeting with the Chief Legal Counsel for ROC United would be mundane. Nothing newsworthy about a meeting to discuss wage theft legislation. That was the point.

They arrived early, and Molly greeted them, took them up to her office (the blinds were already pulled), turned on the white noise device, and locked the door.

George looked tense, serious. Alexander looked like a wreck, albeit a very pretty wreck.

Deborah sat at Molly’s desk.

“So. I'm going to tell you everything I know, and you're going to fill in the blanks.”

“Alexander, you left Politifactor after baptizing your supervisor with a cup of coffee. You were immediately hired by Senator Washington to be his new personal assistant. You two started fucking like Energizer Bunnies almost immediately thereafter. Senator Washington took you to dinner at Tavola Tuscana, a weekend fuckfest at The Chesapeake in Annapolis, and you accompanied him, Martha, and Martha’s assistant on vacation to The Maldives.

Your boss is being vetted for the Vice-President appointment, and Thomas Jefferson sent me a couple of congratulatory gifts.”

She pulled out a copy of the photo, and hit play on her phone. Alex’s tender soliloquy filled the room.

George sat stone-faced, a twinge of color rising in his cheeks. Alex looked ashen.

“Would either of you care to tell me where this wholesome declaration of love took place?”

“Senate hideaway” choked Alexander. “Jefferson and Madison and Burr already know. They ambushed me this morning”.

_Dammit George. Did your boyfriend suck your brains and common sense out of your dick as well?_

“Anyone else know? Besides Martha and Eliza”.

It was as if Alex was ripping off a bandaid.

“Lafayette. John Laurens.”

“Lovely.”

Deborah addressed George.

“Your new toy over here must fuck like a champion for you to have made so many stupid mistakes and to put up with him running his mouth everydamnwhere”

Alex turned beet-red.

“I'm not a toy”.

“Look princess” _shit that was not the best phrase to use_ “The press is going to call you even nastier things if this gets out. No- _when_ this gets out. _Fortunately_ everyone is shitting the bed about whether Aaron Burr knocked up Theodosia Prevost, but-”

George interrupted.

“It's true. Alexander discovered that, actually.”

“Oh?”

“I figured that out from Hercules and tracking down Senator Livingston’s son-in-law. And meeting with Theodosia herself. And Aaron admitted as much this morning.”

It wasn't quite a boast, though Alex spoke more calmly and his skin wasn't a color not found in nature.

 _This kid is good._ Deborah made a mental note to hire him if the absolute worst happened.

“I have my broker and my legal team working to obtain the footage and get the exclusive rights. But knowing Jefferson, he's probably gonna be a slippery bastard. In the meantime, keep a low profile but send any information I can use as a diversion. But please don't do anything else that's gonna drive me to drink.”

“I thought you stopped drinking when you left the Army.” said George, obviously looking for something to ease the tension.

“That's the point, George”.

***

This was weird. George wasn't supposed to be the irresponsible fuckup Deb had to look after.

George had suggested she pursue running for office when Deb was languishing in post law school limbo. George was already married by then, busy crafting an image for an adoring public. An image he _had_ to create.

Besides, politics and gossiping about politics were both dirty, but at least the latter allowed herself to be free of a stifling bullshit persona.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Did you know that Sydney Leathers occasionally writes for Vice now?
> 
> Now you know.
> 
> Restaurant Opportunity Center United is a real, truly badass organization. Their website is rocunited.org


End file.
